Yep. You’re reading that right. The Jesus loving weirdo used the F Bomb in the title of her blog. Want to know why? Because sometimes the F bomb comes out of my real life mouth. *gasps*

I was raised by two parents whose favorite cuss words were F and MF, smoked cigarettes, and taught the best life lessons. 18 years of molding, it’s inevitable to not be like them – fortunately and unfortunately. I learned to cook from my mother, but I didn’t have much patience for it. I learned to bake from my Dad, and also balance a checkbook and create an excel spreadsheet. But the most important lesson I learned from both of them was to learn to let loose, find the happy, and dance naked in the rain (literally and figuratively.) “Happiness is a choice.” The words from my Father rang true one day and burned into my brain, never to be forgotten. I don’t know why his words weighed so heavy on me.

Into the years of becoming a teen, I somehow decided I was going to put myself in a box. That if I stayed out of trouble, crossed my T’s and dotted my I’s, my life would be good. I didn’t realize at that point how little of control I actually had. I did all the sports. I didn’t smoke. I barely drank. I refrained from sex. I didn’t hang out with the bad kids, although they were always at my house with my brother and sister – ha! I just knew that if I stayed inside my box, things would go great! But of course that never ever ever happens. I was the good girl who was wild.

I always tried to do the right thing. I felt horrible if I hurt someones feelings even if I was getting taken advantage of or lied to in the first place. I was so naive about the bad things people could do, which caused so much hurt in my life. It wasn’t until I was 20, a year after my daughter was born, that I quickly realized me being naive was not beneficial, and almost detrimental. Now don’t get me wrong, I still see the world through rose colored lenses, even at the ripe age of 27. But I just know that saying no is a good thing, distancing yourself isn’t a bad thing, and taking care of yourself is extremely important.

So when I say “I Finally Learned How to F**k Up,” I really mean, I learned how to not care if other people think I’m F**king up, because I trust myself. I went years thinking I was always doing something wrong and I never trusted my own ability. But the more I’ve grown, specifically with my walk with Christ, I’ve learned that I don’t really have to trust my own ability. I have to trust The Lord and give my whole heart to Him through the highs, the lows, and the massive amount of in betweens. The Holy Spirit lives inside me through the grace of Jesus, which is where my power comes from. Not how hard I can grind, not which box I put myself in, and certainly not the box that other people put me in.

It is okay that you make mistakes. With relationships, with your job, with your fashion sense, with your parenting. But it’s not okay to not try new things. Get outside your comfort zone and try all the things. It’s good for your soul and it’s good for the world because you make such a difference!

Don’t be afraid to MESS IT UP!!!

Just because you drink doesn’t make you an alcoholic.

Just because you go to Church doesn’t mean you’re a Christian.

Just because you don’t go to Church doesn’t mean you’re not a Christian.

Just because you did drugs before doesn’t mean you’ll do drugs forever.

Just because you are poor doesn’t make you poor forever.

Just because you didn’t believe when your kid was sick and they really were doesn’t make you a bad parent.

Just because doesn’t mean just because.

Love,

B