Alright, I’m about to go Brene Brown on your a$$.

It’s Friday May 3, 2019. To most of you it’s just another ordinary day, but in Kentucky, it’s a holiday. Derby Week. Essentially, lots of business are closed, even schools are closed, and the traffic is crazy. Last night we went to my family’s house as others from out of town were arriving. The Alabama couple brought their doggo so we decided to bring our two pups – it was definitely a dog party. We had dinner, drinks, and a few rounds of Golden Tee for the boys. It was a great night, but was extended longer than…well, not longer than usual because this always happens. Ah, the people you love. Good times.

We ended up crawling into bed at 1am. If you have young children you know that no matter what time you go to bed, the children are 99.9% up at a$$-crack-of-dawn-o’clock. I started the morning per the usual with coffee. My husband had already been up for a bit working from his laptop. I thought he was going into the office today, but remember, Derby Week. We made Annie’s Vegan Cinnamon Rolls and sat at the table together anticipating the middle/best/gooiest part at the center. We always pause and make a big deal when someone gets to the middle of the cinnamon roll because we all know that’s the best freaking part.

Around 10a, I crack open the laptop and get to work. I was so excited about not having to leave the house all day. The past week has been super busy so I was looking forward to slumming it. Right as 11a rolls around, my plans changed. I had to run product from one store to another so pants were going to be a thing today; bummer. I took my daughter with me so she could get some time out of the house. It was raining outside so her normal scooter rides and digging in the mud weren’t going to cut it today. We made our stops and got back around 1p.

In the meantime, my husband has taken a nap. I walk back into the house and my husband, big dog, medium dog, and cat are all snuggled up in our bed. In case you were wondering, yes it was extremely cute. After his slumber, he left to go help a friend move furniture into their new house. The rain subsided and the sun was heating up the day. The neighbor kid emerged outside and Emma was I’m sure relived to have an actual kid to play with instead of our gaggle of a family (I say that positively, not negatively. I like my gaggle). Boom – I AM ALONE IN THE HOUSE.

It was quiet, I had guacamole, and a fully charged laptop. I’m creating some content today in the sunroom and things are going great. Some stuff that I am really excited about! So much so, that it’s hard to get my fingers off of the keyboard. My words were making sense, the aesthetics were pleasing, and I felt like I was connecting the dots. My husband had come home around 5:30p and finished up some work on his laptop as well. I’m sure we looked like a new age millennial couple in our sunroom at our farm table with our two laptops LOL.

My husband asks what I am doing. I said creating this stuff. He said what stuff. So I began to show him this exciting stuff! But then, I got scared. Because what I was doing was opening myself up to criticism on a rough draft. I was making myself vulnerable. I showed him a few pages and minimized the page. He didn’t say much. Why didn’t he say much? Did he think it was ugly? Did he not like that I was sharing some personal information? Did he not believe in my vision? DID HE WANT A DIVORCE?! Okay maybe not that last one, but you see what I’m alluding at. My mind went south. I was like what the frick just happened. So I straight up asked him because I can’t let things go.

He didn’t say anything. I kept badgering him and he said “it wasn’t worth fighting about.” What!? Fighting about what?! I just asked you why you said nothing about this thing I was pouring my heart into! Can you guess what I did next? Yep. I kept badgering. I was calm (which is not typically my approach when I’m upset) and just asked him why he had no response. He could have just said cool or dope. I didn’t care at this point, I was just upset there was NO response. The statement back had nothing to do with my blog. He said “the house is a wreck.” Huh? What does that have to do with my blog? My dream? My thing? Well, everything.

The house really was a wreck and it had been all week. The dishes were piled up, the laundry was literally 4 loads behind, and it was a miracle I made it to the grocery store yesterday. So I was totally in agreement that there needed to be a power clean done but why was that my fault? We both had equally busy days, we both have busy jobs, and we both have able bodies that can clean. I felt like I had pitched in this week by doing some laundry, some dishes, and some cooking. Brett felt the same way.

Without me getting any lengthier the point of the matter is;

Perception can easily become reality.

We had a super open conversation about how we speak to each other and what we expect of each other, and then poof – just like that we were fine. We both got up, power cleaned the house, made dinner, and worked together as a TEAM! You married this person for a reason. You love this person for a reason. You are in this very moment FOR A REASON!

Extend the Grace you’ve been given. 

-Mrs. Pattie

Make sure you’re checking yourself. Make sure you are self aware. Make sure you remember the Grace that God gave you. 

Love,
B